By Sanj Marosi
The American Dream, along with its promises of prosperity and a better life, drives most people. Throughout my life it has been an ever-present element of my ethos. I was taught that taking on difficult work and enduring long hours earned your success. Elbow grease ensured high-quality productivity, while sweat equity translated to cost savings. I enjoyed the challenge. So, I took on work whenever it was offered and accepted any special assignments that doubled my capacity. While working a full-time job, I raised a family and my parents aged; caregiving responsibilities swelled. I was exhausted and wasn’t progressing in my career the way I had wanted. I began to question my approach.
During this time, I read an article about a senior leader I admired. He talked about his success and how he started his day, rising at 4:30 a.m. I arose at 4:30 a.m.! My excitement at this uncommon similarity quickly faded as I read how he spent his time: he worked out, showered at his office, ate breakfast, read several newspapers and began his workday early and energized. After our shared 4:30 a.m. rise, my workday routine detoured sharply.
Getting between three to five hours of sleep, I woke exhausted. My morning routine included ironing school uniforms and work apparel, emptying the dishwasher, packing my children’s lunches, washing and drying two loads of laundry, showering, dressing, and waking, feeding and herding our children out the door. I dropped them off at school after an hour’s commute and proceeded to my nearby office. I walked in by 8:15 a.m. exhausted, uninformed and hardly ready for the day. Unpaid labor divides lifestyles and robs time, making the ability to seize opportunities scarce. And, according to a Forbes article, women handle more than 75% of household labor, worth an estimated $1.5 trillion in the United States alone.
However, unpaid labor that takes form as overwork holds everyone back. Workplace cultures are reflecting a comfort with expecting all employees to do more with fewer resources. Absorbing a former colleague’s job responsibilities may position you as a team player. Filling an open role – on top of your current obligations – may be framed as a stretch assignment. But, I have realized that having uncodified scopes of work leading to hours of overwork has not contributed to my professional mobility. This Harvard Business Review article points out that overwork is not necessary for success.
Additionally, unending workplace connectivity interrupts the breathing space needed to foster creativity and spend meaningful time with friends and family. I used to justify these tethers that extend office hours as loyalty. And yet, when you set boundaries, it is loyalty that finds itself on trial even as unpaid labor promises more than it can deliver. Normalizing overwork should be seen for what it is: dysfunctional.
There are things you can do today to make progress toward a healthier relationship with work.
- At home, ask for, and accept, help. Consistently enlist the assistance of others in chores around the house and in caregiving service.
- Set the right example. If you must write nonemergency emails during off hours, schedule them for receipt during the workday. Doing otherwise sends a strong message that transforms into expectations within your company culture.
- Set boundaries. Enforcing them ensures you are fulfilling your commitments while demanding respect for your time. Marrying up a project scope with realistic effort does not imply a weak work ethic. Time and pride of ownership are discrete entities.
- Learn to negotiate. When you weigh what taking on a special project means for the success of your company, include yourself in the equation. If the sole beneficiary of the work is your employer, start a conversation about securing real benefits for yourself.
- Be great at what you do. Your time is better spent deepening your skill and honing your craft. Expend energy on those things at which you excel.
It took nearly my entire career to recognize that my initial blueprint for success was flawed. Optimism and loyalty kept me traveling down a dead-end path long after I’d recognized it wasn’t viable. Not only did my approach fail to deliver the kind of results I expected, it was also depleting.
The American Dream continues to serve as my North Star. However, its constituents have evolved as I have matured; hard work and long hours have been augmented with setting boundaries, honing my craft, simplifying the work and thoughtful execution. The only original element that has stood the test of time has been that intrinsic gift I’ve enjoyed throughout my life, an enduring love of work.
